@#$!%

I feel like I screw everything up.
Honestly, I know I shouldn't say that because I don't and people continuously tell me I don't.
I still have that unsure feeling inside my stomach telling me that something is wrong.
I hate it.
I've been starting to get more headaches and I mope a lot more at home now.
I still love hanging with my sister and mom, but I like being alone a lot more than I did.
I don't know what it is, but something has seriously changed.
It's not my vegetarianism or my boyfriend just so people don't bring that up.
I AM happy.
For real.
Sometimes, I just have this uncontrollable sad feeling.
And I have no clue what causes it.

Good day.

Another good day.
Like seriously?
This is amazing.
I'm getting good grades, and my stress about high school is starting to go down.
I'm writing more which is good because I'm letting my feelings out a bit more.
I'm enjoying writing in this thing again so it's another chance for me just to, you know.
Write.
Hah, that sounds kind of dumb, but it it's really the reason.
Writing is so helpful to me.
I know that I'm going to be writing for the rest of my life.
I know it in my heart.
It's what I want to do, and what I'm best at.
God blessed me with the ability to write what I feel, and I thank him every day for it.
Well, goodnight.

big dreams + big world.

Finally okay?

Sorry I haven't been on in awhile.
My days have been crazy.

I've been thinking about a lot lately.
And I think I am really happy.
Even with all the stress of school and family and stuff...I have a guy who seems to really care about me and friends who really seem to love me.
That sounds pretty good, right?
I've been trying to hard to be happy even when I feel like I can't be.
God has seriously been answering my prayers.
I feel like my emotions are brighter and I'm handling situations better.
I seriously want to scream, I'm so happy right now.
I love my dreams and I have plenty of them right now, but reality is sinking in; and I'm really loving it.
Life can be amazing if you just sit back and watch what can happen.
Anything can happen and you can definitely be surprised.
I don't expect this to last forever, but I'm savoring every second I can.


big dreams + big world.